:forgive me, this is an old one i wrote.:
You ever realize how playing music, plays with your emotions as well.
Like, take a guitar for instance, you pluck, strum,and scratch the strings.
An with each action, feelings start dropping out of your subconsious mind and suddenly fill the air.
The harshness, the sweetness, the shear desperation in finding a way to coexist.
Your speaking another language when your playing, your speaking your heart,
Your speaking your soul....
As children, we learned sound first before we learned words.
Sound has a greater impact to some of us then words could ever do.
The sound of a howling dog outside my window right now.
Brings nightmares, like pleasent daydreams to my mind, it becons at deaths door, on my door.
Your a different person when you play music too.
You close your eyes, your blood preasure drops, and you reach a hypnoitic state.
This state of being is also felt by the listener most of the times...
( Life is going to slow, and i wish it would move faster around me, all of the people are moving faster and less detached from reality then I'am...I meet a person i hardly knew from school, at the star wars premire. He was supprised to find me there, thinking that after seeing me that last time we had meet, i would of been dead.. I would of commited sucide...
and we banter for awhile, and I "shoot the shit" but still it dawned on me, when he said I was weak because i have sucidal tendencies....i never saw it as a weakness, i see it as a strengthening temptation that is pressed on me each second I'm alive. I see my life as strong, because I'm still living, each day that passes by is a victory well fought. I'am not weak, I'am not a coward. For I'am here with you, writing to you my precious reader, as a sign of my resolve. The ride is still going and my hand is on the red button.....its steady, but its just staying there, over it...and hopefully, someday, that hand will slip back into my pocket and never stop this ride forever.)
:end of aside:
Is reality all but some abstract state of dreaming? Somethings happen in life for reasons unknown, all we have to do in life is "roll with the punches". I take my fender guitar, and I let loose my heart. Its imagined figure, lies bleeding on the cold bronze wound strings.
My voice grows low, and my eyes are close, making this light starved room only darker.
My memories fade in, like it was some white nose in the background. They grow clear, and sureal. Whispers escape my mouth, chanting away in some unknown language I can't recall, sometimes screaming and crying out, my eye lids shut tight, my throat hoarse, my ears defened....then silence, and from all the sounds I have made, thing recoiles me...the sound of silence, that, and only that unleashes eveything, but that flow, cannot be channeled, it is wild, and ill-spirited, it is one of the things that does consume me...something you just can't run away from, an no matter what escape you choose. thier will always be new challenges waiting ahead of you, no matter what street or avenue you turn to.
what a fickle thing...